i feel perpetual

listening to: cocteau twins 'wolf in the breast'

The nauseous fire is awake. It courses down my limp limbs.

I used to speak of rattling like a pinball machine. 

Now my shaking is quiet but 

Like a wind irrepressible and pervasive. 

“I feel perpetual. I feel perpetual.”

I told him of the comfort that I find in the feeling

Of knowing, that one day

A dog will be running over my grave.

I cannot tell you what is going on in the world. But
 The smell of pines and rain. 

A cave of cold water and red earth.

Reaching the sun. 

The shaking settles. 

I fell asleep like a child,

In Grandma’s bed, some 

Things do change.

And in the aqueous blackness

Of night 

“I feel perpetual.” 

Breathe easy.