Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Let It Fade

Let It Fade


Occasionally struck by the nearness
of everything, the brevity of everything,
the precious greenness of it all,


struck by how I ought to run away with my crepe-soles
smoking,
collapse or not with great autonomy.


I am building a wall of books to
lean on.


I do not say that I will
engage with your body as an instrument


because that I will not do


I will only remember with
eyes closed as I curl like orange peel on this
bare mattress beneath wool, your back


stretching like a country mile your eyes
open and not,
or how taking your boots off I felt


venus,
I felt vaguely rose,


and I evacuate it all now like
a mouthful of vaporized time-
precious ether-


drop something and pick it up,
I cannot joke about it I say and you leave
nightward, I to sleep,


Forgive this trite awakening,  it is
trite in fact, but I realize so often now:
I really do not know what I want
of this day or this life



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