first with a tremor and secondly a shake
the memory of you knocked round the frail beams of my house
like frightened knees, like wintry trees
exhausted by the lonesome cold


my house of cards
of clubs and hearts
of diamonds and of spades
collapsed easy, weak by design

and in times of joy
of reminiscence i find


my heart is fast to flail and contract
to give up, to give in and to be pulled back
into inferior arms made of nothing like love
made of guilt and of half-memorized tunes


aloneness is my lover and i wear him like a cloak
and he understands the desperate need, insists that i must leave
the heart will start to warm in me like the kettle on for tea
all clubs and spades will admit peaceful defeat
free to sing
to sing songs for my family



without singing aloud so as not to be heard
sweet songs of love that don't require words
we are chains of blood and bones and we are
blossoms of spores
i am chained to them by a ribbon as old as earth



if i could hide my house behind a labyrinth hedge
from the storm that drips dismal, heavy in my chest
if i could spin in a teacup beyond here to something surreal




my house sturdy in its peace
and my heart something like healed
oh who can truly know what they would do



if their sweetest and most painful wishes did happen to come true





who could know which way that creek might turn



i wont be the fool that dwells in old spells
when the truth is the ribbon
is old as the earth