Monday, March 7, 2011

head full of snow parts I and II

original post 6/19/09

head full of snow

head full of snow

'When the wind blows and the rain feels cold 
with a head full of snow 
In the window there's a face you know 
Don't the night pass slow? 

Sound of strangers sending nothing to my mind 
Just another mad, mad day on the road
I am just living to be lying by your side 
But I'm just about a moonlight mile on down the road 

Made a rag pile of my shiny clothes 
Gonna warm my bones, 
I got silence on my radio 
Let the air waves flow, 
For I am sleeping under strange strange skies 
Just another mad, mad day on the road 
My dreams is fading down the railway line 
I'm just about a moonlight mile down the road'

the rolling stones

the leaves of the trees in your yard screech low like cellos; it is too dark to know where the narrow path leads, creeping as it does to the right and then out of sight, but that's where you go

a head full of snow: have you a head full of snow? is this the origin of your ghostly glow, your emaciated smile ?

your hands are warm anyway

a head full of snow. it's a feeling i've known (we were all clean and young before we were grown but the nights are cold, and through the smoke we only seek the heat

that we need for our own)

your face in the half-light, the shadow of your collarbone

of course i can only close my eyes,
remember a song

stirring up the stations of the radio. my vision adjusts to find you moving slow, your eyes ignited by a lighter's adjustable flame, beautiful mouth, a perfect bow, and

a head full of snow

i shall lay back on this table and watch the stars explode. and i shall not cry because i am too high to remember how.

i have a glass of wine a cigarette and the rolling stones
and i peer through frozen eyes, hear through a wall of snow

(as do we all, i know, because we all have felt the pull. along the narrow path, that's where you go)

to calm a feeling that is stronger than your bones, that threatens to grow darker than your immeasurable black pupils know

a piece of carnelian, cellos, a head full of snow

head full of snow pt II

we love it still but it is not the same, we simply can remember, can remember the narrow path, can remember
nights of blameless-- grainy, greedy desire, the night so black, your hands slack on my thigh, and you were afraid, i was afraid, you were on drugs, i was on drugs, i was waiting for something, and i was the most glamorous girl in the backyard, dainty stepping over the glass shards, conjuring vapor from your sulphur eyes and pulling in into my mouth

yes i was stealing your soul, i know you knew it, and we let it, let it be that way. 

today a cup of smoke poured from my mouth and i listened to the old song, heads full of snow and sleeping under strange skies, i recalled those sulphur eyes, my lungs constricted, i did not rise, i lay and let myself feel the 

old cigarettes in their sage-green box, the pipe and the lighter in each of my hands, the bottle of red wine staining my lips, the derailing desire for your fingertips, derailing desire for your mouth full of 

smoke, your head full of snow, the way you snarled and spat when provoked, you thought everything was meant to be mean as your own thoughts, and you were wrong

we were so young, the dam broke, so young we all got soaked, young enough to explode like astronomical bodies in the night

1 comment:

Gold Leaf said...

smashing, killer pt ii mannnn

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