Monday, July 20, 2009

i will write myself through this and emerge slightly battered, exhausted, on the other side. or i will crawl through it on my belly like a soldier, smearing mud down my front, wishing i could
give up. just sleep in the mud. just sleep

inching like the living dead toward a blurry dawn with indistinct features; could be a grimace, could be a smile. could be another day at the park. ocean park, its water always the color of the reflected sky. silver sleeping with eyes closed beneath its dense blanket of fog.

perspective is a telescope and i have to jam myself into its center, bones and all, stay forever. make a moment of clarity expand to encompass all time. like a bird in the estuary, diving beneath the surface and then returning to the light. so, a moment of wet and cold.

it's just a moment of wet and cold. the sun'll dry you right off

1 comment:

Variable said...

I’m sad that Molly & Ivy are moving away from me-
My stable companions
The love I have for them is unspoken, an expansive ocean
I’m sad that when they move our love will go too
It’s gone but they will take these lovely memories and I will be left with fossils,
they don’t feel real.
I miss you,
I consider your opinion on matters that you are not present to discuss
I contemplate sneaking into 1R so I’m there when you return
How could you deny me?
Our memories clutter my head
I don’t remember anything anymore
Except your scent,
Except your lovely mouth
But then I remember
A snear, an air that could not be permeated
A love never expressed
An absent intimacy
That told me you and I could never be
In my mind I plea,
I plea for your love and kindness
And I receive emptiness-silence-ambiguity-selfishness-cowardice
And I know that I’m better off without you.

I know,
I’ve had lovers disappear, die-
Profess their love for my closest enemies
My heart aches when I try to trace where we went wrong

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